Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Hard and Confusing is the New Love

I thought love was supposed to be awesome. I thought it was supposed to make you feel like your on top of the world and nothing could ever bring you down. Even if it`s a simple crush just like this, it should be making me feel better. No. I swear happiness is like impossible for me these days. Love is making me feel as follows:
I wonder if he`ll notice me today
I wonder if he`ll actually carry a conversation with me beyond just saying hi
I wonder if he`ll stop liking and trying to get with my best friend
I wonder if he`d ever wanna hang out with just the two of us, or if we always have to have someone else there as well
I wonder if were ever going to be good friends
And, I wonder if I should just give up now

Lots of things are uncertain right now, but one thing I do know is for sure. I needed to get rid of all the old pain I was hanging onto in order to learn to move on. If I hadn`t moved on, I would have never been able to like someone else. Someone special taught me that recently, so I guess it was about time I listened to someone. I kept saying that it was always easier said then done. Now, it`s just as easily done, as if I never loved that other waste of time. Only time will tell if this is meant to be or not, but I know I have to try. Otherwise, I`d be missing out on something special.

1 comment:

  1. yes, you have to try. but life is way too short to be spending your time on something that is not bringing you joy. The next thing you need to let go of is the idea that life, and everything in it, is a burden. Start seeing life and beautiful and the joy will follow.

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