Gaming with Lights

Me: This game is super fun. Your gonna love it.

L: Haha, I play it on my DS a lot but I've never actually played it on Wii.

Me: Its so much better on the Wii because your actually steering with the Wii controller and you can choose so many different Mario characters. I'm Baby Daisy, haha.

L: Oh my gosh! That's soo cute. I think I'm going to be...*pauses and scrolls through characters*

*I laugh as she goes through my favorites*

L: Toadette for sure, haha.

Me: Aww, she's so cute.

*we start playing and the computers are winning against us*

L: Damn, damn, damn. hahaha

Me: Oh my God. This is so hard, haha.
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Ok, I know how short and bad this is, but its a working progress :D

I Can Be a Part of That. You Just Have to Let Me

'Why can't we be together? You still haven't explained that one!' she yells, one arm spread out to her side while the other pointed directly at him. She scowled with a mixed look of determination and hatred, although, he knew she felt the opposite.

He looked at at his feet for a moment, a look of sadness painted his face so perfectly, he'd most likely be able to draw sympathy from his passing peers. However, everyone had gone home and he was forced to face her questions and, if worse, answer them truthfully.

'I thought that would be obvious. I just have too much going on right now. Everything is a mess and I need time to put at least some of it back together', he said in an almost pleading voice, begging her to see reason and understand, rather than just think of herself.

Did she not realize all he had on his plate right now? He still had feelings for an ex he just couldn't shake, on top of finding a quiet space and enough focus to continue his writing he so desperately adored. There was also school of which he was failing that took up a lot of time, which was also mixed in with making time for friends and family as well as hobbies that he did that kept him sane. Without realizing it until the last word, he had spoken his reasons aloud and as he watched her surprised expression turn so soft, he couldn't help but melt at her eyes. She approached him then, cautious and slow until her arms were around his waist which he, to his surprise, returned with ease.

'I can help you with all of that', she whispered softly as he looked away with the word 'impossible' on his lips. She removed one hand from his waist then and carefully guided his face back to hers, her eyes swimming with tears.

'I can be a part of all of that. Just give me a chance', she said, her voice breaking on the last word. He looked into her eyes then, his own tears fighting against the brims of his eyes for escape. He pulled away and took several steps back, never breaking contact with her eyes he loved so much.

'I don't want to hurt you. You don't understand why I'm saying no. I'll barely have time to see you or spend any quality time with you. I'm working on putting back together my life. You should do the same'. And with that, he turned his back and began walking away.

'You are my life! What am I supposed to do now?' She screams back as the tears stream down her face uncontrollably. He stopped suddenly and as he turned back to her, she was on her knees crying to herself. He couldn't help the tears now as they spilt down his cheeks. He was hurting her more by saying not yet, then he ever would at saying goodbye if he did give her a chance.

'At least I'd know I can't help you then. But your not even giving me a chance to prove my worth', she said sadly as he realized that he had spoken aloud again. He knelt down in front of her and wiped his tears away quickly before lifting her head up to look at him. His face was utterly serious as she continued to sob in his hand.

'Why should I add you into the mess? It's going to hurt more to be with me than it will to just give me the time I need', he said rather calmly which settled down her crying a little. She took a deep breath to this and looked into his eyes with such happiness that he was almost taken aback.

'I know how busy you are, but I don't mind because I support everything you do and if I can be there beside during these things, that's even better. I know you like to be alone, but someday you'll get lonely. I'll be right there whenever you need me. I'm not asking you to put your whole world on hold for me; all I ask is that you just let me show you how well I can treat you and how understandable I can be. All I want is you, and saying a yes is fine by me. Even if you're too busy to see me or you have other things to do, I won't be mad. I'll understand because you warned me beforehand. I have no problem with sitting on the sidelines and let you work out everything on your own. But if you need help with anything, I'm here and I want you to know that', she said smiling through her tears now.

He looked at her thoughtfully and was about to say yes when one more snag came to mind. 'If your going to watch from the sidelines and let me do what I need to do in peace, then why are you so keen on being with me right now? If your not going to be around in order to accommodate me, then what's the rush?'

And then suddenly, her eyes burst into even more tears but his hand kept her face in front of his, preventing her from looking away. After a few more sobs and deep breaths, she spoke. 'Because I don't want to lose you to someone else. I don't want you to get so completely caught up in everything that you forget about me', she said, and knew how pathetic she sounded.

He smiled at her then, removing his hand from her chin to the sides of her face and gently brushed away her tears. She convinced him, gave him hope that maybe he could have her and everything else. She didn't have to be separate. There were ways to keep her and she found them exactly.

'Sweetheart', he said slow and deliberate, 'If I give you this one chance, you have to promise not to go back on everything you just said. I don't want anything you just said to be in the heat of the moment or some shit. Alright?' he said as she nodded hectically.

'Alright', he said as he took a deep breath and looked into her eyes. 'Will you be with me?'

My Promise

Dear Ms. C,

I promise to do all of my blogs from now on :D

Its Nice to Dream....of You

Now what? I have fallen so terribly behind. What will she think of me? No, I may or may not mean the woman who sits in front of me. I have eyes for others that evade me. Life is cruel, I've gathered.
And even now, I watch you do better than I. I watch as you run your fingers through your hair, sigh and wonder what to say next. But you always have something to say. Always.
Its almost magical, the way you look at things. I'll speak of a past that never included you but how I wish the future did. How I wish the future held you so close. Perhaps I am being too selfish, for not even considering how you may feel. Maybe its wrong to simply relish in my own feelings.
For I know I do not deserve yours.
Love is of twisted fates, both parties living ignorant and happily. Maybe I can make you happier?
Probably not. It'd never be me you'll look upon with a smile, but its nice to imagine.

Eavesdropping #2

I was walking threw a blockbuster the other night and while I was looking at movies to rent on the shelf, a man and his younger daughter come walking down the same isle as me. The daughter looked to be about 6 or 7 and was very innocent looking. The father looked in his fifties or so, wearing a leather biking jacket. The only thing that was odd about this conversation was that the little girl did nothing else but smile. Maybe she was too shy. I didn't know what the case was but her father was pretty entertaining. I knew what movie the little girl was looking for by this conversation:

Father: "So Tinkerbell....Tinkerbell will be in the 'T' section. Maybe they should make up a darker version of Tinkerbell or something; one that would be entertaining for the parents too. How bout "Tinkerbell meets the spawn of Satan!"

He kept going through the store saying that... O.o

Eavesdropping #1

Two women get onto the subway train, one of which who is pushing a baby stroller. It looks like one you'd find in a toy store that comes with a plastic baby that talks. They both practically look identical if it weren't for the basics.

The woman without the baby is fat to say the least but somehow managed to squeeze herself into a very small pair of yoga pants. She is also wearing a small, black leather jacket that was open. Because I was feeling particularly bitter that day, I thought that because the jacket was open, she must not have been able to do it up. Her hair was scrunched and in a high bun on top of her head and her dark eye makeup was almost making up for her gut that was spilling out of her shirt. She sat down in a two-seated bench and took up most of the room.

Her friend (the one with the baby) was just about the same only her hair was blonde and she had what seemed like more pimples then stars in the sky all over her face. I could see the heavy lines of her makeup where her face had been frowning, smiling and laughing all day as well as how much time she took in straightening her hair, as it was about to her waste. Like her friend, she was wearing the same pants and jacket, only her shirt fit her a bit better.

I started wondering why these two women were on the subway at 10:30 at night with a child until I pressed pause on my music and heard what they were talking about.

Brown haired girl: "So, he thinks you cheated? That's it?"

Blonde girl: "Yah, and this time, I wasn't even doing anything wrong. He's a f***ing dumba** though. Like I thought he really cared about me, you know? He said he wanted to marry me and s***. And now he pulls this s***."

Brown haired girl: "What a f***ing idiot. Like did he ever care to hear what you had to say?"

Blonde girl: "Of course not. When I got home, he just started screaming at me with this stupid s*** and told me to get out. And obviously I'm not sitting there and listening to that s*** so I grabbed my s*** and left."

Brown haired girl: "That's f***ed bro. Do you know where your going now?"

Blonde girl: "I'm probably going to go to Eric's place and stay there for a bit because he like loves me".

Brown haired girl: "Yo, Damien is f***ed in the head. You don't even need s*** like that in your life".

And then my stop came and I had to get off. :)

Cue 3

It was a dark and stormy night...

"Come on, Carson. This isnt a game anymore", Mrs. Shaider said impatiently.

I looked up at her through the long bangs of my hair and smiled slightly. She had been asking me what happened ever since I got home from jail. She showed up everyday asking me about September 14th, and everyday, I'd be a smart ass. Truth was, I didn't want to tell her or anyone what happened to Shyanna. It was just too painful...

****

I was at a party, a familiar setting. I was standing right beside the bar, with a drink in my hand, talking to my buddies when a small set of arms reach around my middle from behind me and hug. I knew it was her without looking. I've just been with her for too long to mistaken those arms, hands...

I turned to find Shyanna, beautiful and perfect. Her long brown hair was out tonight and she was wearing one of my favorite dresses that I bought for her. Her green eyes were glazed over though and as blood shot as the time we pulled our first all-nighter together. She was drunk.

"Carson, I have to be home before my parents. You need to take me home", her voice was perfect, even through her slurring as she pulled me towards the front door.

"Alright", I said as I put my own drink down and pulled my car keys out of my pocket. "I'll drive".

****

It had been a year since the accident and this lady still wanted answers. And today of all days, was not her day.

Cue 2

The thing came hurtling from space and crashed into the building, engulfing it in flames.

It was a blur, nothing I had ever seen before. And as soon as I tried to make it out, it disappeared and Sarah's house was up in flames and smoke. The explosion caused the houses beside it to cave in and as the destruction around the burning building continued, so did my pulse, my mind.

"Sarah!" I screamed and began racing towards her house. I knew she was the only one there. Her mother and father were out of the country, which meant that they had more time to prepare before they were invaded as well. It was quiet, other than the sound of fire burning as I got closer to her house. Suddenly, another object fell from the sky at lightning speed. This time, I was able to take a closer look as it screamed its way down towards the ground.

It looked something like a star, only it was more of a blight purple light. It made its way a few miles to the left of me, screeching like a million birds as it crashed to the ground, shaking the Earth underneath my feet and deafening me temporarily. I picked up the pace as object after object began falling like rain all around me and all I could think about was her...

Cue 1

She slammed the door, screaming at the top of her lungs, "You have GOT to be kidding me!"

My father was drunk again, nothing new to me or the rest of my family. He said he was going to get help, going to get clean and for the longest time, we thought he did. But the fact that he was drunk now was not the reason why I was mad. He promised he would stop hitting me, stop swearing and making me feel worthless. But just as I came in the door from my friend's place, his fist was in my face. For a second, I didn't know what hit me until the pain came and I felt the blood gush out of my nose and mouth.

"You little slut! I've been waiting all day for you!" He yells as he steadied himself with a one of the kitchen chairs. I stumbled to my feet, running to my room as fast as I could. I swung my body against it and locked it shut as the tears clouded my vision.

"Where do you think your goin, girl?" I hear him yell, his words slurring as he too, stumbles his way towards my room. I backed away from the door as his fists hit the outside, begging for entry.

"Go away!" I yell. My voice is soft, weak even from crying. I walked over to my bed and curled up in the corner, waiting for mom to come home as I cried. She'd be home any second to straighten him out. And just as quickly as I thought it, my dad suddenly went quiet. I could hear the front door open and my mom's familiar voice.

"I'm home!" she declared brightly. And then, I heard her scream...

Its Been Awhile

This is my first blog in almost a year. I wrote last year in my previous Writer's Craft class. Now, I'm sitting in class, blogging again.
Only this time, it isn't an assignment. To update you since the last time I wrote, I've moved out of my previous residence and now reside with my aunt and uncle. However, I will be moving out to my own place in a few months due to their lack of trust in me. I wonder sometimes if I'll ever be able to call somewhere home. Its something nice to think about in the meantime.
Imagine this...

A well prepared and planned family decide to have a baby. The baby turns out to be a girl and they name her Amanda. The parents provide the world for their daughter and up until she is 18, they shower her in love and support.
When she turned 18, things change slightly. Amanda has completed high school so her parents encourage her to go look for a job. They feel that she should earn money for college and then move out on her own.
They continue to support her as she aquires a job and begins to work her way to greatness. Her older sister, of whom is married and has two children, is also supporting her little sister with the decisions she's made.
Amanda has never been happier, and soon, she saves up enough money for college and a small bachelor apartment of her own.
That's a wonderful thing to imagine...